Lolz so it’s the night before the ACT so obviously I’m gonna spend it listening to Taylor Swift and actually relaxing. I remembered I had made a Tumblr so maybe I’ll be one of THOSE people and blog. Woo blogging. I’m a hormonal teenage girl so OBVIOUSLY I will be blogging about my feelings. Sometimes it’s good to just let all dese feels out.
Where to start, that is the question. Ok so I legit cried tonight. Out of happiness. I tend to do this a lot, which if you know me in person is kind of hard to picture. ANYWAY I was looking through my box of stuff tonight and found a flash drive which surprised me because I don’t remember owning a flash drive. So I plugged it in and found a bunch of photos in folders but there was a folder called “save”. I opened it and that’s when I started tearing. It was a bunch of screenshots from texts HE sent me in the summer of 2011. It’s so weird to think we had such strong feelings for each other back then too. Now that we’re actually together, it’s kind of incredible to look at them. There’s stuff about us questioning what’ll happen between us in the future. Well, 15-year-old Hira, you turned out to be his. I guess when I fell in love the first time, I just never fell out of it. When he started dating the other girl, I hated myself for so long and distanced myself quite a bit from everyone. I came home, slept, ate, did homework, and slept again. It was legitimately the worst period of my life and I’m glad it’s in the past now. But when we reconnected this summer, all those old feelings almost IMMEDIATELY came back. I’m so thankful for my friends who peer pressured me into confessing to him how I felt. Because TBH he’s a pussy and wouldn’t have done it himself, even though he claims he would’ve done it eventually since he felt the same way. BUT ANYWAY, I feel so blessed and lucky to have him in my life. I know it’s a stupid teenage girlish thing to give a boy control of your emotions, but I’m okay with doing that. He deserves it. He has made me SO FUCKING HAPPY in the time we’ve had together. I don’t even know how long that is…we started talking June 2011 so like 17 months?? That’s an incredibly long time to be in love with someone this day in age. I’m glad I screenshotted those things he said because looking at how I felt then and how I feel now, I realize I still love him so much. I’m glad he’ll never read this because I specifically told him NOT to tell me he loves me unless he without a doubt means it but I’m saying it now because I truly do love that kid. Like with all my heart. I don’t know what I would do without him. One of the screenshots I found was him saying “I want you to know even if I don’t say this enough, I do love you” and that’s when I started crying. HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY. And also in that folder on the flash drive was a photo of him from the field trip where I first saw him. In that green shirt. Looking so freaking cute. I took a really cute photo of him because our teacher asked the girls to take photos of the guys posing like the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders and I had had my eye on the kid in the green shirt the whole field trip so he was the first one I took a photo of. They say only the people who have experienced love at first sight believe in it and I agree whole-heartedly. It’s so weird to explain it to someone who hasn’t felt that rush of OMGILOVEYOUANDIJUSTSAWYOU. It was like magic, as cheesy as that sounds. One thing I learned from the movie Aquamarine- that’s why humans go after love so much, it’s the closest thing we have to magic. It feels unreal when we kiss and I’m glad I get to do it so often. Gah I only WISH everyone else could experience the happiness I feel all the time now. That’s what he’s given to me. Happiness and magic. That’s WAY more than I could ever ask for. He is the one for me, no doubt. I love him.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt such strong hate towards anyone before. She’s the most hypocritical human you will ever meet. My mother is rude, inconsiderate, and selfish. Nothing big really happened to prompt this its just a bunch of bottled up emotions that I have been having to deal with a lot lately. Idk what’s gotten into her but she just thinks she has the right to act like she is better than everyone else when she doesn’t do anything herself anyway. Fuck you, honestly. You put me through hell all the fucking time and I don’t want to deal with it any longer. I know for a fact you are not my mother nor will you ever be. You don’t have the capability of being nice and I don’t appreciate it. I don’t need you and you are an around the clock bitch. You yell at me all day and then dad gets home and you put on the fakest fucking look like you’ve done nothing wrong. Newsflash if you don’t know how to treat your kids properly, you’ve failed at the one job that God gave you. You are a mean, inconsiderate, evil jerk whose only purpose in life is to ruin mine. I hope I don’t have to see you again once I’m in college. Until then I have to put up with your ugly personality. If only I had the strength to keep my father on my side
I don’t even know how to blog. WTF IS DIS SHIT. Anyway there’s supposed to be a meteor shower with shooting stars tonight COOLIO but I have to poop right now. Tumblr is geh. I have nothing to look forward to in life. I have like no romantical feelings for anyone right now which is SUPER WEIRD. Haven’t had any since last summah how awks.
1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? Boyfriend. I’m hetero.
Been in this position a lot in my life, mostly with all the things that happened end of summer/beginning of school year. Very glad that it’s over but also glad the tough times happened, I’m much stronger and thankful now
Hahaha you know wut it is brah ;) haha jk I had cereal just now
Um yeah so this guy is still my number 1 most attractive actor 💛